


Confessing: Good for the soul, bad for my health

by jadehqknb



Series: KuroDai Week 2019 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, College AU, Confession, Confessions, Day 1, KuroDai Week 2019, Love Confession, M/M, Secrets, mention of Kenma, set in rokuhōdō yotsuiro biyori
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-10 17:51:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18665392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadehqknb/pseuds/jadehqknb
Summary: Kuroo has two options:1) Confess to Sawamura and risk rejection2) Not confess and risk Kenma's wrath





	Confessing: Good for the soul, bad for my health

**Author's Note:**

> KuroDai Week Day 1: Secrets and Confessions
> 
> Continuation of [You Can't Carry A Tune And I Have To Carry You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18183920) Must read first to fully understand.

Kuroo wakes up to a throbbing head and the unfortunate discovery that he slept in his jeans. After Kenma and Tora dropped him off he just crashed, still tipsy and overwhelmed with even just the idea of confessing to Sawamura.  

He rolls, expecting the rest of his mattress, only to let out a squawk as his stomach drops from free falling to the floor. Apparently, he slept on the couch. 

This does not bode well for his day, he thinks, flat on his back staring at the ceiling. Maybe he should wait. What’s another day or two tacked on to two years of pining? 

He winces against the chime of a text message.  

Not bothering to rise, his hand fumbles over the table surface, finally landing on and picking up his phone. 

He brings it in front of his face and sighs.  

Kenma  
  
Don’t think you’re getting out of it. Text Sawamura now and invite him to breakfast  
  
What if he’s still asleep?  
  
  
  
I have it on good authority he's not  
  
You’re quite meddlesome, you know that?  
  
I’m just tired of watching you mope with sad tragic eyes  
  
  
  
Oh but that’s part of my aesthetic  
  
It’s annoying  
  
I see, this isn’t about me and Sawamura finding happiness, this is about you not being annoyed  
  
  
  
Exactly so get to it  
  
If I’m so annoying how good of a friend are you to push me off onto Sawamura?  
  
I’m your friend first. Now quit stalling  
  
  
  
Wait did you really mean it? That I’m perfect for him  
  
Do I ever say anything I don’t mean  
  
Good point. Thanks  
  
  
  
You’re welcome now TEXT SAWAMURA  
  


Kuroo chuckles. It always amuses him when Kenma writes in all caps. He taps the screen to his last conversation with Sawamura. Kuroo’d sent him a pun and as usual, Sawamura had fired off complaints but Kuroo likes to believe he smiles as he does.  

He’s in so, so deep. Falling for Sawamura was a surprise but now that he’s here, he can’t get out. And that’s part of what’s so scary. Because now, he has his feelings tucked safely in a jar. And every new special moment is his alone. He can dream (he can fantasize) and he can hope. But once it’s out in the open, once Sawamura knows, there’s the terrifying possibility he won’t return his affections. And everything Kuroo has that is bittersweet, will turn sour.  

He shakes his head. This type of thinking is exactly why he’s waited so long. Maybe too long. But Kenna’s right, he can’t keep doing this to himself. It’s either be honest or move on.  

He doesn’t want to move on.   

He types, deletes, and retypes his message so many times he wants to punch himself.  

Sawamura  
  
Mornin’ sunshine! Last night was a blast, huh?  
  


Lame, so lame! 

It takes long enough for Sawamura to reply that Kuroo starts to get antsy but then he sees “the bubbles” which only add to the cascade of ones already dancing in his stomach. 

  
  
What I remember of it  
  
That's right, you crashed halfway through. Didn't know you were such a lightweight  
  
It’s been a while ok? Not everyone has time to party hardy all the time  
  
Who says party hardy these days? What are you, 40?  
  
Was there an actual point to you waking me up?   
  


Kuroo takes in a deep breath. He’s gonna kill Kenma.  

  
  
You’re still asleep?  
  
Not any more thanks to you  
  
Wow, I remember you being a crack of dawn type  
  
That was when I was young  
  
You’re twenty-one  
  
I aged twenty years during my last year at Karasuno. I don’t know how coach is still alive  
  


Kuroo huffs a laugh at that.  

  
  
Like you didn’t love every second of it  
  
There’s some skin of mine left on your gym floor that would argue the “every second” part but yeah, I did love it.  
  
I miss it sometimes  
  


Ok and now this is getting way more melancholy than Kuroo wants considering what the actual point of him texting was.  

  
  
Are you always this maudlin in the morning?  
  
I am without food and drink.  
  
Gonna get up and pound some breakfast  
  


Kuroo thanks the gods for an opener. 

  
  
How about we go out to breakfast? I haven’t eaten either.  
  


There’s a pause and Kuroo is rapidly spiraling into worst-case scenarios over a stupid,  _ friendly _ invitation when he finally gets a response. 

  
  
You buying?  
  
Sure  
  
Rokuhōdō? 9:00?  
  
Yeah, see you soon  
  


Kuroo stumbled across Rokuhōdō during a thunderstorm. Not having an umbrella, he knew he (and his very important homework) would be thoroughly soaked if he tried to beat the storm home. He managed to get inside before the first deluge hit and it was then he realized he was in a cafe. 

He’s been coming here ever since, bringing one or two of his friends from time to time. He knows he should bring more, he wants the business to be successful after all. But they seem to be doing just fine as is and thus he feels a little less guilty keeping this place as his own personal oasis. 

It seems Sawamura feels the same way, because as far as Kuroo knows, he hasn’t brought anyone else here after Kuroo showed it to him. It’s one of the little things he keeps tucked in that jar in his heart, wondering if this place is special to Sawamura because he showed it to him. 

Then he laughs and tells himself to get a grip. 

Still, when he finds Sawamura waiting for him at the entrance gate and they walk the bamboo-lined path to the cafe doors after exchanging good mornings, that light flutter of this being  _ their _ place casts a warmth over him. They enter and are greeted by Sui, exchanging pleasantries with him before he bids them sit wherever they like. 

They find a table for two (bestill Kuroo’s over-reactive heart) in the back near a window. Sawamura sits down heavily, a yawn stretching his strong jaw wide. Kuroo can feel a stupid dopey grin forming on his face despite his efforts to keep it at bay, but it’s hard. Sawamura is just too cute, especially when he’s tired. 

Thankfully he’s more focused on acquiring nourishment than watching Kuroo make goo-goo eyes at him. “What’re you gonna get?” he asks, looking at one of the menus Sui handed to them when they arrived. 

Kuroo tries to focus. “Um, probably the omurice omelette.”

“Didn’t you get that last time?”

Kuroo tries and fails not to let the fact he remembered that make his heart skip a beat. “Well, it’s good.”

Sawamura finally looks up, a wry grin on his face. “Everything here is good.”

“Including the company?” Kuroo jokes.

“Would I have come if it weren’t?”

More heart skipping.

“Considering you’re getting free food, probably.” 

Sawamura hums, his eyes going back to the menu. 

When he doesn’t say anything more Kuroo’s heart is nearly dancing. It’s stupid, really, to read so much into so very little but he can’t help it. He really should stop. He really should say something. But he doesn’t want to potentially ruin their (Sawamura’s) meal so he keeps the real reason for this non-date under wraps for now. 

Gure bursts out of the kitchen, calling a cheery greeting even as he makes his way over. He claps a heavy hand on Sawamura’s shoulder, his laughter filling the room. “Haven’t seen you for a while. How’ve you been Sawamura-san? Let me guess… getting into trouble with this guy.” He tosses a thumb towards Kuroo making his heart lose its rhythm. 

“More like keeping this guy  _ out _ of trouble,” Sawamura replies, a warm chuckle rumbling out. 

Before the boisterous barista can say anymore, Kuroo asks, “Learned any new foam art?”

Gure beams at him. “As a matter of fact, I have! Be happy to show you. Two espressos?” He looks between the two of them and when they both nod (it’s better just to agree) he hurries away to make their drinks. 

“He reminds me of Bokuto,” Sawamura says through a grin. 

Kuroo snorts. “Are you kidding? You and he could be brothers.” 

“I didn’t mean our appearance, doofus.” He rolls his eyes, huffing, “As if I’m anywhere near that handsome.” 

“You’re more so,” Kuroo mutters under his breath. 

“What?” 

Kuroo looks up to find Sawamura looking at him, chin lifting from the cradle of his hand, curiosity in his eyes. 

Kuroo feels his face starting to heat but thankfully Gure returns with their drinks at that moment.  “Here you are, a pair of lovebirds for the lovebirds,” he says cheerfully, setting the cups and saucers down, the ceramic clinking cheerily together. 

Kuroo barely has time to register how hideous the birds are before he replies quickly, “But we aren’t! Lovebirds, I mean.” 

Gure looks amused at first but when his eyes don’t find the joke he’s seeking on Kuroo’s face, they flick to Sawamura. Kuroo can’t help but follow his gaze, his heart stopping when he sees Sawamura’s expression betraying disappointment. 

He shifts in his chair, clearly uncomfortable then pushes it back, making to stand. 

“But I want to be!” Kuroo springs forward, jostling the table and upsetting the espressos which splash and splatter the table cloth and his clothes but he doesn’t care, all he can focus on is stopping Sawamura from leaving. 

It’s like the whole world stops. Sawamura’s beautiful brown eyes are fixed on Kuroo and he just wants to sink into their depths. But first he wants to sink into the floor. This was not how he pictured this going. 

Gure makes a noise of concerned surprised, moving forward undoubtedly to clean up the mess, but he gets yanked by his collar towards the kitchen by Nakao, leaving a weighted silence behind.

Kuroo doesn’t take his eyes off Sawamura, searching his face for a response. When his eyes shift their gaze downward, Kuroo follows, flushing red to see that in his haste to halt Sawamura’s exit, he wrapped his fingers around his wrist and is still holding it. 

He releases him, falling back in his seat, his chin dropping to his chest. He takes in the mess of the table, his clothes, this whole friggin’ morning and just sighs, his shoulders heaving up and down with the weight of his breath. 

Sawamura still doesn’t say anything. Maybe he left. It doesn’t seem like something he would do, but Kuroo can’t necessarily blame him. The only thing Kuroo can find to be thankful for at this point is how miraculously empty the cafe is for a Saturday morning. Usually, by this time it’s full of other patrons but somewhere a heavenly being must be showing mercy to Kuroo. His embarrassing display was only witnessed by the staff who are under obligation to forget it. The customer’s always right, right? 

“Kuroo, the cat’s outta the bag now, you might as well continue. Unless that’s the entirety of your confession.” 

Kuroo’s head shoots up, eyes landing on Sawamura where he still stands, looking amused. 

His brain catches up to the words spoken, his face falling into what he’s sure is a ridiculous smile. “And you berate me for my terrible puns.”

“You know, all this was worth hearing you admit your puns are terrible,” Sawamura laughs, a soft fondness in his voice as he teases. He extends his hand. “Come on, dork. Gotta get those clothes in the wash before they stain.” 

Kuroo stands, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze, his eyes never leaving Sawamura’s. “Is this… you really… I mean, I never even—”

“Are your confessions always this eloquent?” 

“It’s my first one, gimme a break.”

Sawamura flushes, his jaw going slack in surprise. 

“What?” Kuroo asks nervously, his hand tensing in Sawamura’s. 

But Sawamura gives an answering squeeze, his bewildered expression falling away to a beautiful smile. “I’m your first?” he asks quietly. 

Kuroo steps closer. “You’re my one and only.” 

Sawamura lifts his hand to cover his mouth. Then promptly snorts before falling into laughter, his eyes crinkling shut and hiding their shine. 

“Hey! I’m parading my heart here and you’re laughing at me!” Kuroo protests, half in jest. He didn’t mean it as a joke. 

Their eyes meet again and Sawamura drops the hand from over his mouth revealing a wide smile and slightly pink cheeks. He still looks amused but there’s a new warmth in his eyes as if a screen were removed allowing the light out. Kuroo feels a bit breathless at the sight of it. 

“I’m sorry, you’re right,” Sawamura says, then takes a deep breath. “And you’re braver than me, so really, who’s the chump here?” 

Kuroo wraps his arm around his waist. “Hey, don’t talk about my lovebird like that.” 

Sawamura punches his stomach but there’s little force behind it. “If you ever call me that again, I’ll punch you for real.”

“Ok, then how about… darling?” Kuroo asks, still inching closer. 

“How about just, Daichi?” 

And that sounds very good to Kuroo indeed. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! Kudos and comments are always very much appreciated! 💗


End file.
